After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
