I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
