I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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