So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
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I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
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In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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