This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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