please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
