I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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