Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Randomize