Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
