She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
