dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
accomplished twins. life is a go
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
