The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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