Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
