His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
