im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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