guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
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