Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
