So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Randomize
