My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
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