He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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