Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
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there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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