Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize