I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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