So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
