My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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