That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
And then my night got REAL pukey
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize