Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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