they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I don't deserve a penis
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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