I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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