If that was your dad, he is hot
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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