Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Two words: blizzard sex
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize