but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
