barbara walters just said penis...
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
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