The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
