Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Randomize
