I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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