Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
