it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
My vagina just recognized that song.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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