I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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