D3 body, D1 cock
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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