At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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