I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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