escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
it was like having sex with a tree stump
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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