was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
