i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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