I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
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I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
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He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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