i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
