I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
