we're chasing vodka with high fives
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
