how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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