I just threw up on my dentist
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
