i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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