After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Randomize
