Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
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