On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
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