All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Your penis caused this!
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
