The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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