So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
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