watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize