ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
