my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
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Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
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And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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