I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
should my penis look like a turkey
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
