I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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