So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
